Survivor Series 2012 LIVEBLOG

Survivor Series 2012 LIVEBLOG.

Sponsored by cheap caffeine drinks.

Live from Indianapolis, IN. Announcers are Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield and Jerry Lawler.

BONUS Traditional Survivor Series Match

Brodus Clay, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd, Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio v Tensai, Primo, Epico and THE PRIMETIMEPLAYERS.

Kidd looks like he’s cracking up at the PTP. Kidd and Epico start off. some headlock and armbar related stuff leading to a pinfall reversal series. Epico drops Kidd on the apron and gets the Eddy hilo dive. Gabriel in with a legsweep and standing moonsault. Double team spin kick gets two for Kidd. Young in with Mysterio who gets a drop toe hold into the corner. Sliding dropkick to Young’s groin gets two. Primo in with Sin Cara. Cara gets the Tajiri elbow, springboard rana and cross body for two. Code red gets two before Tensai comes into some heat. If by heat you mean ‘Albert’ chants. Titus comes in with some barking. Primo gets a camel clutch on Sin Cara. Cara fights out but gets dragged back to the corner. Tensai back in with some power stuff. Hot tag Brodus who gets an Adele splash (™ JBL) in the corner and it all breaks down. Stereo topes by Kidd and Gabriel followed by quebradas from the luchadors. Brodus nearly kills Tensai with a T-Bone suplex. Tensai is like ‘Fuck this’ and finishes him with a senton.

5 – 4 to the heels.

Tensai and Titus team up to whoop on Gabriel. Tensai gets two off a senton. A second one is missed and he gets rolled up by Gabriel for three.

4 – 4.

Titus back in with some choking on Gabriel. Epico gets a nice butterfly suplex for two and hits the chinlock. Kidd in with a springboard dropkick. He gets bumped to the outside and the Puerto Ricans take over. Apparently JBL is owed money by Carlos Colon. No shit. Titus gets a pretty cool pump handle slam but gets crotched on the top rope. Kidd flies in with the flying rolling prawn hold for three! Awesome move!

4 – 3 babyfaces!

Epico with a rolling triple back suplex but the third is countered to a sharpshooter and he taps.

4 – 2 babyfaces. 

Primo gets dropkicked coming off the top rope and gets the tag to Rey. Flying head scissors and sunset flip kick gets two. He goes up but Primo moves in for a superplex. He headbutts Primo down, hits the Thesz press and goes for the 619. Young blocks but Rey gets a crucifix for three! Only Young is left for the heels.

619 from Rey, Senton from Sin Cara, moonsault from Gabriel, springboard elbow from Kidd and a last flying splash finish the match for the faces.

Really enjoyed this, delighted that Kidd had such a big role in all of this.

Survivors: Rey Mysterio, Sin Cara, Tyson Kidd and Justin Gabriel.

Meanwhile, Kaitlin gets jumped by Aksana but she thwarts it and I putting the kettle on.

WWE Divas Championship: Eve v Kaitlin.

I think it was Bill Simmons that said that if you have one name in WWE, more than likely you haven’t got much of a character.

I approve of Kaitlin’s pants. Been a good night for the auld female ring attire so far.

Eve wins with that Goldberg neckbreaker. Kaitlin had gotten a near fall off her fireman’s carry gut buster.

Winner and still champion: Eve

We get a segment in the back with Randy Orton looking on annoyed at the face team arguing. Randy to Foley: “I hate you.” KAYFABE.

United States Championship: Antonio Cesaro v R-Truth. 

Cesaro believes that he is the only reason for the entire United States to be thankful this year.

Cesaro’s ring attire is preposterous. Few roll ups to start form Truth. Cole name drops Nikita Koloff and Kensuke Sasaki as non American US Champions. Cesaro gets some power offense and a double foot stomp for two. Karelin hold bearhug is our rest hold here. Michael Cole apparently thinks that the All Blacks are from South Africa as he watched “that Nelson Mandela movie”. Back suplex gets two. Truth back with a sunset flip but walks into an uppercut. Back to the bearhug. Truth fights out with some clotheslines and a leg lariat. He walks into a boot but gets a dropkick for two. Suplex stunner gets two as the fans had no fucking idea what that was. Ax Kick misses and Cesaro gets the BOLO UPPERCUT. Neutraliser, talk to you later.

WInner and still champion: Antonio Cesaro.

Is this the second year in a row with David Otunga doing the TLC promo?

Are we still doing Tout? Why have we not ruined this yet? Like a normal video with a subtle photo of some chick rimming another chick in the background.

Speaking of rimming, we get a fucking recap of last Monday’s AJ/Cena thing on the show I paid money for.

AJ comes out for an interview. FUUUCCCKKK YOU. Vickie is trying to make her life hell. AJ used to think it was because she was a vindictive witch but now she realizes that Vickie has a secret of her own. Vickie comes out to some heat. Ugh, AJ is showing stupid photoshopped pictures of Vickie with guys like Ricardo Rodriguez, Jim Ross and Brodus Clay. How short is the main event going to be? After my piss I came back to find Paul Heyman doing a promo. Twitter is making jokes about Tamina so I gather she jumped AJ.

World Heavyweight Championshp: Big Show v Sheamus

How can they follow last month’s awesome match? TOO MANY LIMES, TOO MANY LIMES WHOOOAAA.

Some brawling to start and Show ends up tied in the ropes. Sheamus gets the ten clubs to the chest from there and attacks to the outside. Back in and Sheamus goes up. He dives straight in to a spear though. To the outside and Show gets some power stuff with the stairs. Back in and the match slows way down. Are we going twenty minutes again? Sheamus gets a quick comeback but walks into a superkick. Huge elbow drop gets two for Big Show. Armbar rest hold and Sheamus immediately fights out of it but walks into a side slam this time. Show misses a blind charge and eats feet. Sleeper from Sheamus but Show throws him off. Sheamus gets some punches but Show sidesteps a charge and he eats post. Final Cut gets two for Show. Show goes for a Vader Bomb but Sheamus counters with a FUCKING ELECTRIC CHAIR! He held Big Show on his shoulders for like five seconds! And it looked safe!  Slugfest is won by Sheamus as he gets the high knee in the corner. Some polish hammers sets up the Brogue Kick. Kick is blocked into the chokeslam, countered into White Noise for TWO! The fans are losing their minds as Sheamus sets up the next attempt at the kick. Show pulls the referee in the way though. The trainers and more referees come down to check on Armstrong. Sheamus LIKE AN IDIOT was checking on the referee and Big Show hits the punch for three.

Another referee reverses the decision due to Show pulling Armstrong into the kick. Show goes after the referee and Sheamus comes from behind and attacks Big Show with a chair.

Sheamus is putting a hurting on Show here to the point that the fans aren’t all with him anymore. Show is even begging not to be hit anymore. Sheamus finally hits the Brogue Kick in the aisle as Show was on his knees. What an asshole! So it looks like Sheamus taking on Show next month in a CHAIRS MATCH.

Winner and still not the champion: Sheamus via disqualification.

Fans chant “We want Ziggler” as Show crawls up the aisle but nope. We get a Rolling Stones commercial instead.

Team Ziggler (Alberto Del Rio, Damien Sandow, David Otunga, Wade Barrett and Dolph Ziggler) v Team Foley (Kane, Daniel Brian, Kofi Kingston, The Miz and Randy Orton)

The bump Cody Rhodes took to put him out of the match looked disgusting. Not sure who was at fault there or if it was a freak accident.

There is literally no stakes on the line here. Foley looks AWFUL coming down to the ring, all limping and shit. Daniel Brian’s NO coat is so great.

Otunga starts with Kofi. Kingston nearly hits the kick but Otunga bails. He follows with a plancha from the post though. Brian in to a giant reaction. Sloppy powerslam from Otunga who just gets the fuck out and tags Sandow. Russian legsweep and the ELBOW OF DISTAIN gets two. Slingblade clothesline from Brian followed with the corner dropkick. Brian hits the kicks but Sandow runs away from the Tajiri kick. He tries to HBK out of the match but Kane catches him and eventually chokeslams him for the pin.

5 – 4 Foley.

Kane and Daniel argue and Ziggler hits his move for three on Kane.

4 – 4.

Orton in with a slingshot suplex. I’m really glad he’s using that as a regular hold. Kofi comes in with the 450 monkey flip on Ziggler. Brian in with some uppercuts as they fuck something up off the ropes. Barrett in as JBL compares him to the king of the gypsies. Daniel misses the dropkick in the corner and takes the Psicosis bump. Outside and Barrett rams Brian into the apron. Otunga in and immediately gets tapped with the No Lock.

4 – 3 Foley.

Del Rio in with a chinlock as this is pretty much non stop action. The announcers are having the time of their lives here. Tilt a whirl backbreaker gets two. They fuck something up in the corner as ADR awkwardly goes over and out to the floor. Kofi in with his comeback and hits the boom drop. He sets up for the kick but ends up with a cross body for two. Tilt a whirl sideslam from Barrett gets two. He hits Kofi with the elbow for three.

3 – 3.

Orton in with some forearms but misses a charge in the corner, Orton reverses a suplex and hits a kneedrop for two. Brian in with some more kicks in the corner.Barrett runs into Brian’s foot in the corner and eats a middle rope dropkick. Del Rio tags in and gets put in the No Lock straight away. ADR reverses and gets a stiff kick. ADR hits the springboard kick in the corner and gets the armbar. Brian taps out clean.

3 – 2 Ziggler.

Brian did not look very good there. I wonder if there’s an injury or something.

Del Rio gets the codebreaker on the arm on Orton. Ziggler in with an elbow for two. Miz gets the hot tag and starts his comeback on Barrett as the fans are really hot for it. Skull Crushing Finale is reversed but he gets it for three afterwards.

2 – 2.

Del Rio hits an awesome German Suplex for two. He goes up however and Miz drags him down. Mix misses the corner clothesline and gets pinned after ADR’s corner kick.

2 – 1 Ziggler.

ANOTHER springboard kick gets two for ADR on Orton. Ziggler in with a neck breaker for two. Back to Del Rio with a double stomp. He goes up and eats a dropkick on the way down. Orton hulks up and gets his powerslam. Ricardo distracts and ADR gets his forth flying kick of the match. Foley uses the Mandible Claw on Ricardo on the outside. Heel miscommunication ends up with Randy hitting an RKO on Del Rio for three.

Ziggler and Orton are the last two left. Ziggler gets thrown to the post and just hangs out there not moving while Orton sets up the RKO. He misses and Ziggler gets the Zig – Zag for TWO. Great near fall! He misses the fameasser and Orton hits the draping DDT. Orton has a bloody lip from something there. Orton spazzes out and motions for the punt. He runs at Ziggler who hits a PERFECT super kick for the clean pin!

SOLE SURVIVOR: Dolph Ziggler.

Some hicks Tout about who they want Rock to face at Royal Rumble.

WWE Championship: CM Punk v THE RYBACK v John Cena. 

You’ll never catch John in the next man’s sweater.

Punk bails and runs straight away as both faces take turns chasing him. They argue over who gets to pound on him back in the ring. Ryback does his choke lift but Punk goes to the eyes. Cena then hits Punk with the bulldog. Ryback throws Punk out as we’re left with Ryback and Cena. Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks. Ryback throws Cena down off a lockup. Cena drops Ryback with a shoulder block and goes for the FU. Ryback escapes and hits a shoulder of his own. Punk is with a snap suplex on Ryback. NOSOLD. Ryback fallaway slam’s Punk over the top. Cena in with a spinning belly to belly and a chinlock on Ryback. Punk hits both with an axhandle and a spinning elbow puts Cena outside. Another axhandle is caught but Ryback walks in to a leg lariat. Cena runs in for two. Punk hits a DDT for two. It’s formulaic but it’s fast paced and all action. Ryback no sells the blue thunder bomb and they boo/yay it out. Cena gets pulled out and sent to the steps by Punk. Punk with a nice springboard clothesline for two on Ryback. He hits the chinlock as Ryback feeds off the crowd. Some clotheslines, a backdrop and a spine buster sets up the meathook. He hits it and then picks him up for the Shellshock. Cena saves Punk and goes for the STF.Punk breaks it up with a flying elbow and we have a triple down.

Punk up first and him and Cena boo/yay for a bit. Ryback double clotheslines the workers and dumps both guys outside.Ryback sets up the DOUBLE SHELLSHOCK but Punk and Cena fight out of it. They prep the table and get a double suplex through it! Back in and Cena hits his moves. The FU is countered to the GTS for two. Cena pops back up with the AA for two as well. Cena goes for the STF but Punk kicks him to the corner and hits the knee. Cena catches a kick for the STF but Ryback pulls him out. Meathook for Cena on the floor. Meathook for Punk in the ring. Shellshock hits for TWO as Cena saves. Shellshock for Cena this time and three dudes come out of the crowd and start fucking up Ryback! It’s Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins from NXT. They triple power bomb Ryback through the OTHER announce table. Back in and Punk steals the pin on Cena. Punk will end up as champion for at least ONE FULL YEAR!

Winner and still champion: CM Punk.

Also FUCKING TYLER BLACK, BRIAN DANIELSON, CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI ALL ON WWE TV. AWESOME.

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