SUPER SMACKDOWN LIVE

SMACKDOWN (not) LIVE 6/11/12

It’s Election Day so let’s see how WWE have decided to counter program the results. 

We open with MIchael Cole introducing Sheamus for an interview. He’s holding his ribs after the WWE.com pub scrap with The Big Show. Cole introduces the footage. It honesty looks like it could have been Cloverfield. Basically, Sheamus gets battered by Show and has a table thrown on him. The extras in the pub are all clearly indie workers with the hair and all that.

Sheamus says he’s still standing and calls out Show. Show appears on the screen and suggests that Sheamus should thank him for not beating him up further.

Wade Barrett interrupts to a huge pop. He plugs his WWE Main Event match against Sheamus but Sheamus wants to fight RIGHT NOW. As usual, the heel pretends he wants to but then walks off.

LATER TONIGHT, it’s Alberto Del Rio v Randy Orton alls Count Anywhere. NEXT, it’s Kofi Kingston v The Miz for the Intercontinental Title.

Booker chats with Barrett backstage and books William Regal and Sheamus v Wade Barrett and Show. Barrett said ‘thank you’.

Tony Chimel announced The Miz really weird. Miz STILL has a mark from that fucking kick Kofi hit before the last PPV.

Kofi Kingston v The Miz – Intercontinental Title

Some chain wrestling to start leading to a monkey flip from Kofi and he clotheslines Mix out. Kofi follows with a rail running clothesline. Miz does ‘something’ to Kofi off a blind charge and we go to break. I have no idea what that was. He didn’t crotch him on the ropes nor did he hit the Stun Gun or anything. Kofi is holding his knee though so we’ll pretend something happened like that.

We’re back with Miz still working the leg. Reversal into a sunset flip for Kofi but Miz boots the knee. Miz with a leg lock that in real life would end up with his back taken. This shit don’t work in 2012. Kofi kicks him to escape and gets his laughable aggressive comeback. Boomdrop sets up the big kick which misses. Pinfall reversal sequence off a Skull Crushing Finale attempt leads to a half crab. Kofi gets the ropes. They struggle over a superplex attempt and Kofi gets a high cross for the pin? Seemed anti climactic. Miz looks distraught in the ring as wins and losses may mean something again. The announcers put over that Kofi has beaten Miz 4 – 0 over the last month.

Miz offers a handshake after the match and Kofi dropkicks him? What a cunt. A replay shows Miz hitting a knee crusher on the steps during the break. Nice to see that after the match after the heat segment on the knee.

NEXT, it’s my BOYS the Prime Time Players against the luchadors.

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio v The Prime Time Players

No entrance for the lads? Ah here. Sin Cara starts off with Young and gets a hurricanrana before the lads get the heat with a stun gun. The Players are really coming off like dicks in the ring. Cara fights out of a chinlock and hits a flying tornado DDT. Hot tag three minutes in and Rey gets to shine for a bit.Thesz press sets up there 619 but Young distracts. Sin Cara hits Young with a dive but Titus hits the Sky High for the pin. Raw match.

Striker tried to interview the winners but Titus takes over. Apparently what this win means to them is “Millions Of Dollars”. A similar answer is given for what they’ll make as World Tag Team Champoins. Striker is forced to answer a question with the same line. Titus suggests that he “Put a little more stank on” his answer. They do the Millions Of Dollars dance and we go to break. I love this team. Bastards.

T Long and Booker are having a bit of banter backstage. 

Wade Barrett/Big Show v Sheamus/William Regal

Will Regal turn heel for the historic 100th time in his career?

Regal has a hell of a robe. Faces rush the ring and we have a donnybrook. We kick off for real with Regal and Show. Or not. Sheamus tags in and Show tags out. Barrett and Sheamus then. Sheamus with some headlocks, tags in Regal for some more. Back to Sheamus who gets a a hard clothesline. Regal with some knees and assorted other strikes. Back to Sheamus who hits his slingshot shoulderblock. Big Show in a drops a flying elbow on Regal as JBL compares him to Haystacks Calhoun. Big shoulerblock from Show to cut Regal off. Show is being really cool as the insufferable bully. 

We come back as Barrett and Show are tagging off on Regal. He gets a cool suplex and running elbow to get the hot tag. Sheamus runs wild on the giant and knocks him down with a flying hammer. Flying shoulderblock sets up the Brogue Kick. Slight distraction from Barrett allows Show to hit the spear. Regal tags himself back in and gets knocked the fuck out. The only American in the match beats the most popular Englishman here in England. Good job bookers.

Matt Striker looks like he’s going to snap at any point.

Long ass video package on the Brad Maddox thing from Raw. I didn’t watch Raw for a reason, don’t infect other shows with that muck.

Terrible, boring promo from Orton regarding the match.

Randy Orton v Alberto Del Rio – Falls Count Anywhere

The announcers talk about who the Apex Predator of WWE is like it’s an actual title. Some kicks in the corner from Del Rio as Ricardo hands him a chair. He wedges it in the corner and they go outside off an Otron dropkick. To the table, to the barricade for ADR. Orton teases the DDT on the floor but ADR runs through the crowd. We’re backstage in Birmingham as they throw each other into equipment and hit the foyer.

Back from the break and they’re maneuvering furniture around. Crowd is deader than shit to quote Jim Cornette. To the crowd again and Randy is looking for the DDT on the concrete. ADR reverses to a stun gun for two. They fight up the steps in the crowd ala Benoit/Sullivan. ADR hits a superkick and uses a chair a couple of times for two. Del Rio does the Orton pose as we go to break AGAIN.

We’re back and ADR gets two off a trip to the dasher boards. Imagine Crocop just booted Del Rio again out of nowhere. Orton with a back drop from the floor to the ramp. Ricardo attacks but gets thrown down. Orton sumps him into the phone box on the stage and whoops on him a little bit. To the ring again where we have the steel steps and the chair wedged. Orton with the powerslam and throws Alberto into the chair. He uses a chair to the back for two. Orton poses for the RKO but it gets cointered into the back stabber. Orton looks for a suplex from the apron out but ADR dropkicks him through a table melodramatically instead. He gets two off it but the fans aren’t into it for some reason. Back in and Alberto has the microphone. Apex Predator, blah blah and puts on the armbar. Orton escapes by hitting him with the microphone. Orton misses a blind charge and eats ring post. Del Rio tried to DDT Orton on the steps but Orton avoids. ADR tries to use the chair but hits the steps instead. As Alberto is selling his hands Orton hits the RKO for the win.

OK match, I can only imagine what the rating was.

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